so many, i had not thought death had undone so many

11) Working to deaden the spirit of the fire’s wild arms
we shine flashlights directly at it
so it produces only heat
but we’re already hot
so we move back and let it do nothing for us.

12) I have a crush on a girl in my class. She's from brooklyn and looks like it too, with a little bit of pearl jam and nirvana. She has two braids that go from her head to her waist and I've only seen her wear one pair of jeans cuffed at the bottom with a pair of converse type shoes that appear to be an ambiguous company. She paints feet and I know she has a wedge toe pinky because I saw the painting of it. It's like a pyramid and it scoops itself under the second toe. The first time I spoke to her I told her that she had a wedge toe because I didn't know what else to attempt to bring up. It made her blush. Since then, our conversations have ranged from k9 tooth infections to why everyone else in the world sucks. She hasn't blushed again though. Last night, a group of us went to her apartment for a party that she and her two roomates were throwing. It was 90s themed as though that was an excuse to play the music they definitely listen to on a daily basis. Her roomates are concerned about things being broken, stolen, or haphazardly dealt with to an extent that it ruins the image they're going for. I always end up falling for girls with cats. Must be some insecurity complex on their part. I've been smoking a lot of weed recently. She smokes weed and drinks balantine beer. I've consciously bought balantine beer when there's a chance for a potential run-in. This is stupid.