Friday, February 1, 2008

seriously the gnarliest story ever

okay. do you want to hear the gnarliest story ever? if you do keep reading if not then don't bother.

so there's this kid in indianapolis josh krom. we call him krom. he is out of his mind. he rocked a half of a mustache for over a month straight. he gets really drunk and really high more than anyone i know. he rides his bike absolutely everywhere and loves to skate. epic dude. at one point in his life he steals a guy at a bar's beer, chugs it, then smashes the beer bottle down and cuts his hands when the bottle breaks. the cops are called and he has to go to the hospital before going to jail. to tell you the kind of guy he is.

you know those computer dusters? the ones you spray between the keys. you know how if you turn them upside down they emit freezing compressed air? you can't even hold your finger to it because its so cold. well he decides to spray it on his nutsack. holy fuck. okay, so he does this, and apparently goes for it and he gets the biggest blister ever. this is all second hand from matt. but the skin is really thin and you can see the puss and whatever else under it. this is sensitive ballsac skin. completely gross. so he goes over to the moontower and i would assume they all get so high. krom shows them the sac and it's disgusting. then he decides to poke the blister!

they get a needle and sterilize it, which is a thoughtful thought for intense stoners to have and they make sure it gets done right. there is some sort of party happening right now. so he takes the needle and punctures the blister. goo starts squirting out, with force, into a shot glass. they fill up a fair amount of it. some girl remarks on how gnarly it would be if someone drank it. of course that's just what krom wants to hear. he grabs the glass, yells "i'm a viking" and pounds it! six people who saw him do it threw up! and apparently tubbs filmed it all. no fucking way!

No comments: